Monday, April 23, 2018
Soon, in a pizzeria near you
CALLER:
Is this Gordon's Pizza?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want.
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I detest vegetables.
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the heck do you know?
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement
CALLER:
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER:
WHAT THE HECK?
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you
CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
Is this Gordon's Pizza?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want.
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I detest vegetables.
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the heck do you know?
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement
CALLER:
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER:
WHAT THE HECK?
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you
CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
Printed Squid Drones
US Army Is Developing Stealthy 3-D Printed Squid Drones:
http://nationalinterest.org/blog/the-buzz/the-army-developing-stealthy-3d-printed-squid-drones-25498
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Ancient Paper Art, Kirigami, Poised to Improve Smart Clothing
New research shows how paper-cutting can make ultra strong, stretchable electronics
http://www.labmanager.com/news/2018/04/ancient-paper-art-kirigami-poised-to-improve-smart-clothing?utm_campaign=Newsletter_LM_Monitor_2018&utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=email&utm_content=62033794&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_61OA60uYPv53gO_DtqB-uBIPkCcOUB1MOU8LZNdsUHI6maW2_Ynw0nYnM7SgE-8cVfPJvONfmuVMbFS2c920wcT6d0xilP-SMAirrm-Xb466iIT8&_hsmi=62033513#.Ws-xSi7wZhE
And the original paper:
http://www.labmanager.com/news/2018/04/ancient-paper-art-kirigami-poised-to-improve-smart-clothing?utm_campaign=Newsletter_LM_Monitor_2018&utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=email&utm_content=62033794&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_61OA60uYPv53gO_DtqB-uBIPkCcOUB1MOU8LZNdsUHI6maW2_Ynw0nYnM7SgE-8cVfPJvONfmuVMbFS2c920wcT6d0xilP-SMAirrm-Xb466iIT8&_hsmi=62033513#.Ws-xSi7wZhE
And the original paper:
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
Free Microsoft Training: Developing Intelligent Bots from Zero to Hero
Free Microsoft Training: Developing Intelligent Bots from Zero to Hero
https://mva.microsoft.com/en-US/training-courses/developing-intelligent-bots-from-zero-to-hero-17797?l=MzJTnlC6D_2605192810
https://mva.microsoft.com/en-US/training-courses/developing-intelligent-bots-from-zero-to-hero-17797?l=MzJTnlC6D_2605192810