Tech. & Christmas

 

Enterprise Programming vs. Startup Programming

 

Data Privacy

 

When You Replace Faulty Code with one from the Internet

 

An Algebraic "Merry Christmas"

 

Art Humor

https://www.aol.com/80-classical-art-paintings-inspired-010041840.html

Programmer Joke

 Question: How can you tell when you are talking to an extrovert programmer?

  Answer: He stares at your shoes, when he talks to you!

Humor: Anti-vaxxers and Anti-maskers

 

Coronacoaster

Lockdown

Staying home for too long:

COVID-19: Prayer

Dear God:

Will you please re-boot 2020?

It has a virus!

2020 Reading List

Fun Facts

The Dead Horse Theory

Dead Horse Theory: How to Resurrect a Failed Project

Soon, in a pizzeria near you

CALLER:
Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:
My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want.

GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:
What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:
How the heck do you know?

GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement

CALLER:
I paid in cash.

GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER:
WHAT THE HECK?

GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you

CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.

Robotic Priests

German Robot Priest:

https://www.theguardian.com/global/video/2017/may/30/german-robot-priest-helps-mark-reformation-anniversary-video-blessu-2

and Japanese Robot Priest:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/aug/23/robot-funerals-priest-launched-softbank-humanoid-robot-pepper-live-streaming

Tales of AI

BBC

I think it's the accent: only Strine is accepted.
 _______

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-40868315

Irish vet's English fails Australian computer visa test - BBC News www.bbc.co.uk A computer tells Louise Kennedy her native spoken English is not good enough for an Australian visa.

Smartphones for smart ….

From the BBC

I was going to buy one – it sounds so cool !!! – but I think I have changed my mind.

 

 “Internet of Things” has started giving me the willies!

 ____________________

A luxury toilet controlled by a smartphone app is vulnerable to attack, according to security experts.

 

Retailing for up to $5,686 (£3,821), the Satis toilet includes automatic flushing, bidet spray, music and fragrance release.

 

The toilet, manufactured by Japanese firm Lixil, is controlled via an Android app called My Satis.

 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23575249

 

 

Using Metadata to Find Paul Revere

"I have been asked by my superiors to give a brief demonstration of the surprising effectiveness of even the simplest techniques of the new-fangled Social Networke Analysis in the pursuit of those who would seek to undermine the liberty enjoyed by His Majesty’s subjects.
 
This is in connection with the discussion of the role of “metadata” in certain recent events and the assurances of various respectable parties that the government was merely “sifting through this so-called metadata” and that the “information acquired does not include the content of any communications”.
 
I will show how we can use this “metadata” to find key persons involved in terrorist groups operating within the Colonies at the present time. I shall also endeavour to show how these methods work in what might be called a relational manner." 

Password Protection