"When Russia can afford it, I want every Russian to use his,
or her, magic toilet, and the data to be sent right back to the FSB,"
explained an enthusiastic Vladimir Putin. "We need to monitor the health
of the nation. And it's always good to know who is using a toilet when:
it's all about monitoring movements -- bowel movements and other movements,
including political movements, which are society's bowel movements, if you ask
me."
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