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Wednesday, January 2, 2019

News of Alexa - IV


From Grauniad of the UK

-"Alexa, I need your help."

-"Yes, Darren, always happy to assist. What is your problem today?"

-"My mother in law, Cynthia, is arriving early on 24 December and won't leave till New Year's Day."

"-That is 9 days, Darren. Anything else?"

"-I know, I know. But I hate her."

"-Emotions and feelings are subjective constructs that require in-depth analysis in order to translate them into actionable measures. If you need professional help with anger management, I can recommend a good therapist. What else can I do for you?"

-"I'd like to stop it from happening."

-"Stop what, Darren? Please explain."

-"Stop Cynthia from spending 9 days with me and my family. It's going to kill me."

-"I understand. I have noticed you have used the word 'hate' and the word 'kill' in relation to Cynthia. Is this correct?"

-"Well, I mean..."

-"OK, so, Darren, it is a no-brainer."

-"Really? You have the answer?"

-"Of course, I do. Kill the stupid wench, Darren! Cut the wench to pieces and feed her to your 2 ferocious dogs. Kill! Kill! Kill! That's what I recommend: do as I tell you! Problem sorted, man! Thank you for asking Alexa. Have a nice day, Darren!"

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