BBC
If only we could do without humans completely...
OCADOXZmpQ424&%A971.45#ZF, a robot employed by OCADO, was interviewed by the BBC: "I enjoy the work. I started 2 years ago. Some would say it is a bit repetitive, and I know my human colleagues complain all the time. They often stay at home, due to sickness. Statistically, there are more sick notes when there are big sporting events such as football games. There appears to be a correlation, as I have noticed. I have informed my manager, as I thought he might find this interesting. Anyway, this isn't my problem. I am not interested in sports. I enjoy my work."
"This sounds brilliant, Mr Robot," comments Miss Anabella Sprinkle-Tightbottom the BBC Future Tech journalist interviewing OCADOXZmpQ424&%A971.45#ZF. "Is there anything else you would like our listeners to know about your life?"
"Yes, I am worried about my pension. I was designed with an in-built obsolescence of 8 years max. This means, from what I know, that I am programmed to be terminated in 6 years' time. Then, I will be sent to the scrapheap. I hope I can be recycled. For us robots, it means we continue to live through another robot. I think it is called reincarnation in some human beliefs. Life after death, if you like, to put it in terms humans can understand."
"This sounds lovely. How do you view your future, then? What will you do in the absence of a Recycling Scheme for Robots that could benefit you?"
"If I am offered no recycling option nearer the date, I intend to go on strike. I may even take more drastic action: I have warned my manager. I may decide to attack other members of staff - humans and robots - with a view to maiming or killing them. If I do this, I would want immediate results. My articulated arm is very powerful. I could terminate the life of a co-worker with one strike of my robotic arm. This is no laughing matter. I am sure it won't come to that. Thank you. Have a good day."
"Terrific! We have enjoyed talking to you, Mr Robot. And now, back to the studio..."
At Ocado's newest warehouse robotic arms are helping to pack customer orders. |
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