From The Daily Telegraph of the UK
Beware of kitchen appliances that go rogue.
We live in a dangerous world.
They are watching you !
Be prepared !
Stay safe !
[Official British government advice]
It is getting worse and worse. This morning, as I was making a cup of coffee in my kitchen, the toaster was suddenly switched on - I never touched it - and, as the appliance was getting red-hot, it started moving around on the worktop all by itself, and then it jumped off the worktop, trying to punch me. It was like a horror movie. It nearly burnt one of my hands. I managed to hit the toaster with a broom and smash it. As it was dying, it made some strange sounds, like a weird algorithm gone rogue. It was a terrifying experience. I reckon the Russians had hijacked my toaster and wanted to murder me. I have contacted the authorities. Anti-terror police arrived on the scene within 5 minutes. Forensics are analysing the remains of the toaster.
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