METRO of the UK, 31/7/26
England is at war with Amazon: we shall never surrender. - Andy Burnham, Prime Minister
Mrs Dorothy Clingles, a retired nurse, explained, on BBC Radio Darlington, Fun and Games in Darlington, a weekly programme about everyday life in Darlington: "When the drone crashed into our back garden, my instant reaction was to say that we were under attack. I thought it must be a Russian drone and Russian soldiers have landed at Dover. It is war. Like the Blitz, except, this time, it has nothing to do with the Germans, for a change. My husband, Derek Clingles, who knows more about such things than I do, said I was wrong and it was an Iranian drone, and they have decided to attack England. We were terrified. Derek was going to call the police. Then we realised it was a delivery. There was a burst package in the middle of the lawn. I think it was a Chinese-made toaster. I said to Derek: 'I don't think the Russians, let alone the Iranians, use toasters."
